We haven’t spoken in a while,
I have so many questions but not enough answers,
I reach for the manual but I lack understanding,
My lips are sealed,
So I guess its time to let it rip,
My biro leaks questions of a lost child,
In my dream,
The king and I had scenes in which we played,
I believed in the wonder that is him,
I’m not Alice,
Jst a soul who’s joy has soiled through many sheets of scattered failures.
Truth be told I am angry,
Like the ash that spreads through Iceland,
I am infected by diseases of this world,
Tell me why you sit on the throne and allow Agnes to die?
Or why Damilola went through turmoil before you erased him?
Why did you let Haiti crumble? And let Katrina loose?
Why did you let war rip in Freetown, Sierra Leone?
Yes its true I do things I shouldn’t do,
so I front,
Like a hologram,
I can’t touch you, but I should trust you,
Trust you with my life as it deteriorates whilst you watch me go
through invigorating pain.
You say you do everything for a reason,
What reason do you have to allow those in Afghanistan to die in the
hands of the Americans?
You hear my thoughts each day of the ticking clock,
You see my battle with pornography,
Yet you do nothing,
Yeah I think his buff
I’d lash him,
Sexual thoughts whilst in church, The sermon of the pastor is a blur,
As brother Ayo who sits opposite me wears revealing shirt of all his muscles,
A bulge poking from him T M Lewin trousers,
Stupidly I confide in a sister and brother is Christ and they look at
me as though I’m filthy,
You hear my cries,
But you don’t comfort me at night,
You say I won’t give you what you can’t Handle,
Erm! I don’t think so,
Do you jst reveal in my aches and pains?
You see I adore you,
seriously I wanna be like you,
But I’m washed in sin and I need your blood to wash me clean,
or do I?
Would I rather enjoy the pleasures I roll in?
How can I believe in someone I cannot see?
Then you whisper keep the faith it will manifest,
In a new rage I drown,
I slip through sage,
Return through the wardrobe like the kids of Narnia,
To see the chapter “faith without works is dead”
So I begin to pray,
Speaking in a tongue only he can understand,
Bound by his blood,
I am cornered,
By a serpent in sheepskin clothing.
I rebuke you that inderrs my progress,
For my faith teaches me strength and confidence.
In him I am free,
Like the dove that saws through the skies
My faith in him has no bounds. You see his word is bond and so I stick
to it for that is faith.
My manual to life is filled with the books of courage and wisdom,
Before I was born he knew me, Better than I know myself,
Each hair on my head,
Every footprint I made, He was there,
There with me he stood,
Through my failures,
So I go back each day frustration boils from within,
And John 3:16 and I become acquainted again…
By Ola the Poet